Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
