I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So apparently I’m into choking now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
