Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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