Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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