just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
