Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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