Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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