seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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