So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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