It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
