You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
