she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
