the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
