Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
