that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
