Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
wanna go halves on a baby?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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