he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
