Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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