just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
