people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
