He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize