Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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