Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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