I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
