just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
