Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
