finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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