if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
