but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this will be a night to untag.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
