I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
