If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
