Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
