WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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