Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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