I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
