walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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