Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
