does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
