I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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