so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
