I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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