we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize