that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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