Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
