the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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