Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
