You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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