I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize