I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
