I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize