This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
