8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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