well I can't set my house on fire every night
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
