now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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