He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
