Your mouth is God's brothel.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
