Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
