Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
