i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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