just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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