Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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