When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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