i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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